The other day I read an article called, "Stop Being a Butthole Wife". The article talks about how the author wants us all to realize that when our husbands leave their laundry on the floor it's actually a blessing in disguise because that means you have a husband! She lost her husband, and after he died she realized what having no clothes on the floor meant. I thought it was an interesting perspective, and very true. While yes, your husband should learn to pick up his clothes, there really are worse things to lose your mind over.
Honestly, one of the ways I remain positive and keep a cool head is that I'm always focusing on "picking my battles". Now, I am not perfect at this. Not by a long shot. But if I feel something start to make me frustrated or angry, I seriously ask myself if it's worth it. Is this situation worth the negative emotions I'm feeling? And also, I ask myself the motive of the other person involved in the situation if there is one. Did they say/do that with the full knowledge of how it would make me feel?
I've found I really apply this to parenting Nathan. That last question applies to kids 100%! I know I'm a sensitive Sally, but any time I read something on Facebook or Twitter or other social media where a parent puts down their kid or calls them a name or says the kid is driving them crazy, it makes me sad. I get it! I do! I went a year with interrupted sleep! I have a baby who needs me when sometimes it's inconvenient for me. But I can't help but always remind myself that the reason for these small hardships is that he is a BABY. He relies on me to help him in every single way.
Does he have a hard time falling asleep simply to spite me? No.
Does he refuse to eat his dinner to send a message that I am inadequate? No.
Does he get teeth because he wants to scream in my ear? No.
Does he make messes to force me to spend half my day cleaning the house? No.
Does he start crying at Target to embarrass me in front of everybody? No.
No. No. No.
So why should I be frustrated or impatient with him? Why would I ever yell at him? Why would I roll my eyes at him or complain about him on Facebook?
Those messes and the lost sleep, the teething and the crying, the laugher and the screams mean he is here and I am one of the lucky ones who gets to have a sweet child in my home. He is INCREDIBLE. He is mine. I signed up to take care of him. It is not easy. It is very very hard. But it is also very very good. I am not a perfect mother. I pray for patience every day. Usually I am granted that patience, but sometimes I fail.
This I can promise you, I will never call my child names or disparage him in any way on social media or in the privacy of my own home or between friends. I will never be a "butthole mom"! ;)