I'm sitting here on my couch, on the brink of motherhood, and I can't help but ponder on what life is going to be like in a few weeks. (I say a few weeks, because my due date is on Friday, but let's not get our hopes up, right?)
This pregnancy has been a whirlwind to say the least. This has less to do with the pregnancy itself, and more to do with every other life circumstance. I started pregnancy while working full time and then some. Alex was finishing his undergrad, I was teaching, and we had a very normal existence in a small college town. We were good at life over there. We had a system, you know?
Then, of course, we disrupted our own life by daring to dream a little bigger. (If you haven't read about that yet, you can over here.) How are we supposed to progress in this life if we don't change it up now and then? Only, we decided to change it up in pretty much every way possible.
So, wham! We chose to move across the country a month before our baby was due, and start a whole new life in a place where we know absolutely nobody and I can't tell what direction anything is because there are no mountains. I've gone from working full time five days a week to being a stay-at-home-something this past month and that is super weird. Although my house is always pretty clean, which is cool, and I've been making dinner every night for the past few weeks. (I'm aware that both those things will most likely change when the baby gets here. Alex, don't get your hopes up!!)
I'm nervous. It's hard being here all day by myself, so often I wish the baby would just show up so I can have something to fill the hours with besides too much Gilmore Girls. People tell me I'll regret saying that. In fact, a lot of people act like my life is just going to get worse when this baby shows up. And you know what? That's the dumbest. I'm not stupid. I know that having a baby around is going to be difficult, frustrating, challenging, etc. But that's not ALL it's going to be. If it was I feel like there would be a lot less children running around. So instead of telling an already nervous first time mom that she's going to be hating life as soon as the baby arrives, why not tell her all the good stuff that will happen that makes it all worth it? Is that asking too much?
I'm nervous, but I'm also excited. This little baby boy is going to bring so much joy into our tiny house! I can't wait to see what he looks like and learn his personality. I'm looking forward to his first real smile, and figuring out what makes him laugh. I'm bursting to see his relationship with Alex, and how sweet that father/son thing is. We're going to have a whole new life with another person to care about, and it's going to be amazing and crazy and I'm ready!
I'm also ready to wear normal clothes again.
So bring it on, baby!