In the early weeks of December, Alex and I found ourselves finishing up the book To Kill A Mockingbird. We had decided to be cultured, you see. Immediately afterward, we convinced ourselves to invest in a Hastings card so that we could rent the movie. It was impulsive, but also a long time coming. The two of us flirted around the Hastings shelves until we finally spotted the movie in question... lingering at the bottom of the Classics shelf. How likely! And of course, after picking that one up, I insisted on picking up You've Got Mail as well, because, well, there doesn't really need to be an excuse for that one, does there?
So that night, we watched To Kill A Mockingbird, and the night after that we watched You've Got Mail. Simple, easy, the same as every night together. Ending with the feeling that we shouldn't have to say good bye every day. It seemed a little cruel, even thought he lived around the corner. The worst part about that was that he was moving. His roommate decided to get married, so Alex had to move across town. And I mean that quite literally. Logan is terribly small, and before you know it, 10 minutes away is an eternity. We had been spoiled, and we knew it. Those last days in that apartment around the corner will always be cherished.
Immediately after finishing You've Got Mail - and I mean IMMEDIATELY - Alex requested that we go return the two movies. It was fine by me, so we got in that white jeep and drove back to Hastings, simply to drop the two movies into the box. And as we pulled out of the parking lot, I was aware that Alex was turning right, and not left in the direction of home. I was aware, but I chose not to comment. I knew that he had something to say to me, probably better than he did at the time. We drove up the canyon a bit, and parked in our favorite spot, over looking the whole valley. After a bit of mindless banter, Alex turned to me and said, "You may have noticed we're not at home right now." To which I looked around wide eyed, pretending to be shocked. He liked that, but he seemed nervous.
"I've been thinking a lot lately. About you and me," he started. My breath caught. My mouth instantly went dry. I started sweating. I knew exactly what he was going to say. But there was always that tiny part of me that mocked my surety and said, but what if he doesn't? I couldn't help but fall to pieces. I motioned for him to go on. "And... I was wondering what your thoughts on that subject might be?" He asked, passing the torch along.
I wasn't going to let him get off easy. I had waited for almost FIVE months for this moment. I smirked at him, regaining some sort of confidence, but still in a state of almost panic. "Nope. You tell me what you were thinking."
"Well, I was thinking that I really really like you, and I can see my self being married to you, and having a family with you."
And I swear, you guys, I swear it. I got chills all up and down. My body and spirit were transported to separate dimensions. The most longed for moment of my life was happening, and nothing could have felt more surreal. I was a mess. Leaning across the arm rest toward him, noticing him leaning a little away from me, seeming wary.... But I had noticed one thing, and I needed to say it, before anything else.
"I think that all sounds really nice," I said, "but, I can't quite see myself marrying someone unless I know that they love me."
He seemed surprised. So nervous about getting the whole "M" word out of the way, that he had forgotten the "L" word should come first.
"I do," he said, "I do love you."
And that moment, I could have died the happiest person in the world.
p.s. I think this is the end. So we can go back to real life now. But I'll post about the engagement and other wedding happenings of course! Do not despair... much love and talk of love is in your future.