CaseyLand: Our Story: Part 6 (and this is where it gets a little depressing...)

Monday, January 21, 2013

Our Story: Part 6 (and this is where it gets a little depressing...)

So, after I spent a wonderful (yet freezing) week in Denmark (yes, that's right,  I went to the country of Denmark for spring break... those grandparents and their missions!) I came home to the balmy 50 degrees of Logan, Utah, and jumped right back into real life. And real life seemed to include Alex just as much as before. One day he asked me if I might like to try rock climbing with him, since it was a new hobby of his, and both of us didn't have class until later Friday morning. I said yes, despite my misgivings with climbing up the face of a mountain.

The fateful day of rock climbing arrived, and we both jumped in his white jeep and headed up Logan Canyon. The day was beautiful and sunny, only a light jacket required. (But it was not April 24th! Name the movie!) When we arrived, we hiked up a ways, and then Alex began teaching me how to save his life if he fell off the rock. But really. It was a lot to boost my confidence with the whole endeavor. We spent the time taking turns climbing up the rock, and to my surprise, it was actually quite enjoyable! Once I got past the fact that my fingers were numb and cold, and the only reason I was getting up the rock was because of pure adrenaline.

We probably climbed for about an hour, and after cleaning up the gear, we took a seat on a rock and looked out at the mountain scenery. Talking, as usual, about who knows what for who knows how long. Eventually I knew - that second kiss was coming. And you know what? I wasn't ready. I was more nervous than the first time. I was completely avoiding any kind of eye contact. And then I thought, "but I really like him!" and so, I turned to face him. And in one blink of an eye, his face moved and  inch closer, and mine was suddenly looking right back out at those pine trees on the mountain over yonder.

Moment, ruined.

I ruined it. And I knew it. Like there was a sudden change in the atmosphere. We drove home, and I went to class, and all day I had a pit of anxiety in my stomach. I knew things were different. I knew what I had done had built some sort of huge imaginary wall between us. And the worst part was that I knew I could have fixed it, if I hadn't turned my face away.

And this is the part of the story where I tell you that we stopped talking to each other. I mean, I tried to fix it. My desperate little 18 year old girl attempts at trying to patch things up went really well... if you count bugging him so much that he finally texted me back to tell me that he "didn't want a relationship because they inevitably end in break ups" and "I need to prepare for my mission" as me fixing anything. I mean, you guys, it was pathetic. Come to find out later, Alex had reconnected with an old girlfriend over spring break, and decided to try things out with her again. And I was a little teenage mess of watching too much America's Next Top Model, eating lots of oreos, getting the worst sunburn of my life, and crying in the shower.

But mark my words, I told my roommate Amy one day, "You know what? I'm going to win him back. I'm going to make him fall in love with me."

And if that wasn't self-fulfilling prophecy, I don't know what was.

p.s. you guys, don't give up on alex yet, obviously SOMETHING happened to get us to where we are now.. keep reading :) and keep in mind... he was also 18.


  1. Josh's birthday is April 24.... annnd I like reading your story.

  2. annnnd April 25 is the date you were looking for.

  3. I am loving this story!!!! Super dramatic :)

  4. Miss Congeniality.

    Oh, this story! This is the dramatic part of the story where you poke the bubble of hope your audience had been watching grow bigger and bigger and bigger and it just pops. Right when we thought the protagonists were going to be together forever!

  5. Ahhh I'm reading this story and loving it!