CaseyLand: this i know

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

this i know

I've lived on this earth for 22 1/2 years now. Each year was a defining one, bring me a step closer to who I am supposed to be. In fact, the years are still like that, there's always room from growing, for improvement, for change...

Just last year I was about to make big choices, choices that made me a stronger person, that gave me more confidence, that propelled me to where I am right at this moment. Right at this moment, I can say I know exactly what I want, where I want to be, who I want to be there with, and what I'm going to do. But see the thing is, that's right at this moment. I'm not saying there is a guaranteed change in all my goals and dreams, but it is always a possibility. So, at this moment, I'll share with you a few things I know for sure.

That people grow up at different rates. There will always be someone ten years older than you that needs to grow up more than you do.

That there is something about a perfect outfit that can change your life... at least for a day.

It's more important than just about anything that we trust ourselves, and those root feelings that we have. Not the feelings that come after, the feelings that tell us just what we want. It's the base feelings, underneath it all that have the truth. And if you trust that, you'll always be right.

That nobody deserves to be mistreated, taken advantage of, ignored, or put down. Including myself. And that there are so many other truths to life that we all need to add "including myself" to.

And going along with that, that it's ok to let people serve you. To be taken care of. To let people love you, and want you, and do things for you. It's a good thing. And pushing that away, because you feel bad that someone else is working harder for your happiness, is not a good thing. It's a basic human need to serve.

That I will almost always forget I have milk in the fridge, and end up throwing away a not even half used half gallon.

That I am in control of myself, and no one else. I cannot change anyone. I cannot say or do anything to make someone different. I can only improve myself, and hope for the best as far as everyone else is concerned. I am accountable. I accept blame, and am responsible for all of my own actions. Everyone CAN change, but I am not in charge of their desire to do so.

Family is the absolute most important thing in this life, and I will never ever do anything to compromise my relationships.

In the grand scheme of things, I'm pretty sure it's alright to have an extra cookie, or watch another movie, or stay a little longer in bed than you had planned.

That cuddling, hugs, kisses, holding hands, making plans, and saying I Love You are essential things in life, and I don't believe anyone can reasonably live happily without them for very long.

And finally, something I've thought over and thought over, and probably mentioned one too many times on this little blog... everything happens for a reason. And whether those reasons are hard, or easy, or fun, or stupid, or absolutely wonderful... it's happening. You have been given the life you have for a reason, and it's up to you to do what you want with it. And as far as I see it, we were given this life so that we could have ultimate happiness in the end, so, if you're not happy, it's not the end.

p.s. i get the next few days off of school and it is so needed! 
p.p.s. my sweet little sister Olivia deserves lots of I Love You's and hugs today! Feel better!

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